The checkout lady is eyeing my body in juxtaposition to the ice cream I’ve put on the conveyor belt. As a long time fatty, I’ve often treated the act of eating as private, even a secret on occasion. Because of course, fat bodies have to feed themselves, but when others…

“Wow,” I think, a limpid dewdrop dangling from the sterling tip like an afterthought. The tapered nib of the needle slips beneath my skin. Then: “This sucks.” — The injection is a slow process. I sit on the edge of the bed with my belly exposed and pinched — a crucible in body acceptance in itself — slowly pushing down on the plunger. It gives me time to think. And like most people who have to give themselves…

From the Xenomorph to Parasites — Instead of focusing on which movie monster could decimate the other, let’s ask a more compelling question: which movie monsters are the hottest? Or, more accurately, which horror movies treat their monsters as thirst traps for horror freaks? Who would win in a fight between Freddy and Jason? Which is…

One of my creature comforts is rewatching horror movies from my childhood. My parents had a very “hands off” style of parenting that resulted in me watching some EXTREMELY age-inappropriate flicks. As a toddler whose folks routinely sat her in front of the television to keep her busy, I’d checked…

You’re a stranger, but I’ve met you a dozen times already. You always find me in dark corners of loud dive bars, or, more recently, in my DMs late at night. The interest you feign is not for me, but for a perceived service you think I can provide. Like…

Beware the Quarantine 15. Beware the fat clinging to your body. Beware change. Beware relaxing. Beware satisfaction with, or even mild acceptance of, your appearance. “Remain vigilant!” says a wave of advertisements on my timeline for weight loss programs and exercise leggings. “Complacency adds 10 pounds.” “Here’s me after quarantine…

The last studio film Carpenter worked on in the 80’s, Big Trouble in Little China, was a commercial failure. Disillusioned with Hollywood and the constant interference of studio executives, Carpenter’s next two films (Prince of Darkness and They Live) were both independently produced. The film follows Jack Burton, a loud…

Tired of shoving dry cotton between your legs only to rip it out 8 hours later and throw it in the trash? Sick to death of washing your diva cup or reusable pads? Why spend so much time trying to get rid of your uterus’ runoff when you can simply…

Imagine you’re about to put your penis into a vagina you’re fairly familiar with. You know its curves, its undulations, its depths. — “Why think about taking birth control every day? So says the NuvaRing website. Back in 2008, I had found a pamphlet at my local Planned Parenthood. I was a freshman in college — 19, dating a 24-year-old with a steady line of marijuana and a Volkswagon Jetta. We’ll call him…